Albert Camus said, "Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despaIr, offering us for a minute the glimse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time."

Seventeen years together was such a short time. But it was time spent wisely.

The best years of my life; beauty and soul concretized.

Happy, 59th birthday, Papa.

You will forever be the light in my eye.

* I LOVE YOU. *

~* In loving memory of Candy who died at 11:30 pm on the 23^rd day of August 2005 *~

"You've served your purpose and I admit, without any trace of fear and humiliation in my heart, that life just isn't the same without you. Witnessing your death was one of the most emotionally-draining things I had to put up with. I cried every night for seven days after your death. It was so hard to accept. You were such a big part of me. I have to let you know that the manner in which you died caused me inexplicable pain, but what hurted me more was the fact that I can never go home again and hear the same barks, watch the same adorable groveling acts, and hug the same creature that has always been successful in cheering me up everytime I was feeling down. You may be lifeless and now only buried under the earth, but that isn't what matters to me anymore; what's important is you led not an unlived life. You didn't merely exist; you were alive every millisecond of your stay here. Tomorrow's not gonna make me cry because today it was made clear to me that you're not really gone. I just have to close my eyes. And feel you here. You've made a difference simply by being. I miss you and you're still here in my heart." ~ Aphrodite      

[I have finally mustered enough courage and strength to counter-attack the hang-over I got from Neil Gaiman's book-signing tour. My hang-over somehow subsided---mellowed down enough for me to be able to blog about it. And I am fully aware that it took me eons. Oh yes, three weeks since.]

In the summer of 2002, I found myself reading one of the books regarded as one of the top ten most dangerous books ever to be written. It was J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, a book well associated with the assassination of big Beatle genius, John Lennon. To call this controversy-prone book thought provoking and mentally and emotionally stimulating would be an understatement still. Its enlightening concepts delve down into the human soul and penetrate the reader's being in unexpected ways. It is a literary masterpiece dealing with man's psychological battle as he progresses through life and, at the same time, a book depicting an individual's perception of his human condition. If you have keen interest for books dwelling on such topics then a lot of graphic novels would definitely make that starving abysmal bookworm inside more than satisfied. 

Enter Neil Gaiman with The Sandman. Let me commit a mortal sin against Neil Gaiman by putting Sandman in a box and pertaining to it as "The Catcher in the Rye" times infinity with godly altercations. To be blunt enough, I don't know how my life could have been if I hadn't come across the books of this great genius in literature. Mr. Gaiman is one revolutionary man. He is an icon---the icon of all iconoclasts as I would love to put it and the god of all graphic novelists as I would boldly proclaim it. I honestly wouldn't be half the person I am today without the stories he has dared to tell in various mediums. His courage alone in standing up for what he writes inspires me. He is the human portal to the world beyond man's perception, to the world where dragons and crowns of rubies exist, to the world where not even the most talented of writers could take us. He has seen what lies beyond, and he took conviction in sharing to the rest of us his experiences. So to say that he has touched my life would be the greatest understatement I'll ever commit. He has altered the way I see life in countless ways unimaginable. His impact on my life was way beyond what my mind could even ASPIRE to decipher.

So the moment I caught news of Mr. Gaiman's book signing tour, I became more than agitated. I was ecstatic beyond belief---I could hardly recover from the gaiety I was feeling---it was a state of absolute euphoria I was trapped in the day I found out he's coming to Manila! I have never ever imagined that he would set foot in Asia, let alone in the Philippines. It was a surreal idea, almost devoid of credibility and any probable sign of happening. But it was real, nonetheless. And Neil blogging about it [www.neilgaiman.com] was a sure indicator that he would, indeed, visit us!

The author of the critically acclaimed graphic novel, The Sandman, and author of countless bestselling books in various genres recently paid our country a 3-day visit last July 9, 10 and 11. Neil Gaiman was here for his book signing tour. He was at Rockwell on July 9 for The Gathering and book signing event for fans, at Greenhills on July 10, and on the last and final day of his visit, July 11, he was at the Music Museum for the Writers' Forum and shortly after, at Gateway for the book signing event for fans.

I, along with fellow Sandman follower Sophia [www.moonworshipper.blogspot.com], went to Rockwell for The Gathering. We arrived late so we weren't able to get our books signed. But we didn't go home empty-handed; we had, in our minds, an actual version of Neil Gaiman doing a public reading of Anansi Boys. The whole tent outside Powerplant Mall was so packed and jammed that we couldn't even find a perfect and comfortable place to park ourselves while we await the arrival of Neil Gaiman. All kinds of people seem to be emerging from elsewhere as we glance upon fantastic artworks to another. There was also an Art Contest so there was an abundant display of neil-gaiman-works-inspired artworks inside the tent. I was also supposed to go to Greenhills for another of his book signing but my father didn't allow me saying, it was supposed to be a family day. Being the good girl that I am [I'd love you 'til death if you won't forget to note the seething sarcasm], I took a one day leave from school on the third and last day of his book signing tour, July 11, Monday. I took the courage to cut my classes and attend instead Neil Gaiman's book signing event for fans and attend the writers' forum at the Music Museum, which was strictly invitational but I got in anyway because my aunt is a writer and she got invites. I didn't go to school and I didn't regret it… I don't regret it still. It was worth being absent for what could possibly make me happy for a lifetime than meeting the writer I once looked up to as a child. Gee.

I won't go into the details 'cause I've noticed how long this entry is now and I have already narrated every detail to every interested person I've talked to after my Gaiman experience. So there. To wrap it all up, Neil Gaiman not only signed my "Creatures of the Night" hardbound book and sandman postcard, he hugged and kissed me. Yayness!

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. His hug was so warm and tender. And he kissed like how a father would kiss his daughter after a long day at the office.

I must admit all that came to happen because I cried. The moment I came to my senses and realized I was next in line, my life before and after reading his pieces just flashed before me. I don't even know how to describe the feeling. It's just so surreal. Seeing my icon in the flesh---it was one of the realest moments in my life so far. It was one day I could and would never ever forget. Neil Gaiman made being a fan, and not to mention lining up for HOURS, all the more such a fulfilling experience.

I only got one book signed even though I brought with me every Neil Gaiman book I could find at home. The line was so long and still keeps getting longer so the owner of FullyBooked said we're just allowed to get one book signed to accommodate everyone. But I got two items signed. Nyaha. After all the crying la-di-dah shit I did, I think Neil Gaiman was sort of touched so despite the ogling eyes of the FullyBooked authorities at his back, he still managed to tell me: "No, no, no. I'll sign both." Haha. 'Cause I managed to slip my sandman postcard inside my Creatures of the Night book. Teehee.

Sweeeeeeet. Anyway, that concludes my Gaiman-experience. Meh. Go to www.neilgaimanphilippines.tk for more Neil Gaiman fangirling and fanboying stories and for a copy of the Writers' Forum transcript. =)

Oooh yeah. Spell that with me. I-M-A-G-O. [02/14/05]



Hale [05/30/05] Bad. Sheldon. BAD. And... why the sad face, Omnie? Ahaha.

Everyone’s so head over heels about Hale and people from all walks of life--whether they be young or old, rich or poor, studying or working—just can’t get enough of Champ. Except me. I wonder.

I had such a fabulous week with some of my friends way back in high school [Karen, Grace, Hoobie plus Trick]. I missed them ever so much! We watched Hale perform at the RX concert series last Monday with the help of our RX DJ friend, Gelli, who’s been really sweet and kind to us. Just got to love her! I wasn’t so psyched up about rubbing elbows with Hale again but the thought of seeing my friends again after eons. We’ve met this band lots of time before so the thrill of meeting them and having a chat with them wasn’t such a big deal to me. But there’s not a single sign of doubt that this band will reach far greater heights. They write really poetic songs and they compose really ear-catching melodies that is sure to touch even the most bitter of hearts. Yeah! Pinoy Pride!

* I feel so unlucky, so unfortunate, so utterly and tremendously deprived of modern technology.  I haven’t been updating my blog lately. I was stripped off of every right I have in complete and long access to the internet for two whole months---BUT wait and cry no more---I am back from my graveyard. =D

* I was at the 2005 Metro Manila Fashion Festival held at the NBC Tent yester night. I was grateful beyond words for being part of that very huge event that called to celebrate the Filipino’s talent in the world of eccentrically mismatched fabrics and scintillating eye-catchers or simply put, Fashion. The said event showcased the wonderful creations of our country’s most inceptive and prevailing brands today: Bayo, Cinderella, Folded and Hung, Freeway, Novecento, Plains and Prints, Rustans Culte Femme and Rustan’s Men. Not only that. Behind this event were the great minds of our country’s best stylists, designers, directors, video producers and production people. The concept of this festival sprang from two persons worthy to be called SUPER. Publicist GP Reyes and advertising man Robby Carmona gave birth to this whole new idea of standing proud for one’s wonderful works.

 * modelling for Culte Femme *

 * modelling for Freeway *

 * Brent Javier strutting his stuff *

 * kids also modelling for Plains and Prints *

I was at the event and it’s not about rubbing elbows with these great people that put me into an elated, almost trance-like mood, but the fact that we, Filipinos, are capable of reaching greater heights and achieving things that other leading and first world countries can. We are more than what we think and we are so much capable of doing praise-worthy things than we think we can. Why don’t we, even for just a while---even for a fleeting time frame, stop patronizing international brands and just focus on what our local designers have to offer---because they do have A LOT to show. They’ve got talent that’s world-class, superior quality even. What they need is more exposure and support from YOU.

I never had the same outlook towards this revolutionizing concept we call “fashion” since. It’s not about splurging money---wasting every penny you got to buy clothes and accessories. It’s not about climbing the social ladder by means of ostentatiously dressing up and catching “their” attention. As cliché as it may sound, it’s about you being yourself. Proclaiming to the world who you can be and who you are and setting no limits for yourself. It’s about creativity, diversity and courage---the courage to put into effect what you have in mind and the bold soul to put aside what other people think of you---because, after all, it is better and only right to, as the homegrown saying goes, “Live to please no one but yourself.”

I couldn’t agree more.