The past couple of days left me more utterly confused than I was before. I was not open to the idea of uploading an entry concerning education for I think it will pave the way for people to hold thoughts of disdain towards me. But I am left with no choice. It has been a very emotionally-draining week for me. And I could not think of any more significant way of easing the breakdown inside other than writing. Well, okay. Food binge. As if that’s enough. I tried watching my favorite flick but it left me feeling even more bitter towards this thing we call “education”. It’s “Waking Life”, by the way. You should watch it. It should educate your mind. Oh. And I am talking about mind investment here.  

Fuck the current system of education. It's just humanity's petty attempt to give meaning to this concept called life... when they know very well they couldn't squeeze logic out of it.  Ugh. What’s this really all about? You go to kinder school, grade school, and study hard in high school to enter a good university; you make it to college, get a decent job, get a decent salary, start a family, and then die.

And they call it life.

What about the things you want? It's your life, after all. You have the prerogative to do what you want with it. But, no. Instead of doing that, we get brainwashed by society's set of crooked and dominating principles, thus killing our own thoughts. I understand very well their vision to attain a chaos-free environment and just an atmosphere of total order, but doing it the easy way won't help create a lasting change. [ I could now hear Ms. Lening's words at the back of my mind: "Don't criticize the current system if you don't know what to replace it with!" an excerpt from the sermon she gave our class last year during Pani class.]

* Just because you don't have any alternatives for it doesn't mean you should accept it with an open heart. You still have your truths. But I must say she's partly right. I like her.

My father and I have been having conversations about this topic and he would always begin by orienting me with Maslow's heirarchy of needs. He says I should study hard to get a decent salary and to finally fulfill the first and second level of Maslow's not so f-ing laws. He's a brillinat psychologist and all, but... different things to different people. That's what other people force us to believe in... that sacred "heirarchy of needs" Oh. In case you don't know, Maslow's heirarchy of needs goes like this:

1 - survival needs = the essentials. you know, food, water, shelter... and I quote him "Without these nothing else matters".
2 - security needs= "Safety from danger, safety in numbers. This covers everything from having a big club with you in your cave, to having a parent look out for you, to having a system of law and order in society."
3 - belonging needs= the belonging need... it's like the "you shouldn't be an outcast" law
4 - love needs= the need to love and be loved
5 - self-esteem needs = "The need to achieve a level of competence or status that one feels is useful and deserving of respect in society. Adler's psychology of power and inferiority complexes deals with the specific nature and manifestations of this need."
6 - self-expression needs = freedom to express one's individuality
7- intellectual needs = "A higher need. The need for people to pursue intellectual avenues and probe the reaches of human understanding. A gifted person will feel this very strongly and may actually experience mental illness if this need isn't satisfied. "
8 - spiritual needs = connection with your God
9 - self-actualisation needs = this is the highest attainment. The state "where a person is achieving all they want and is able to fulfil their true potential unhindered by society or circumstance."

*REQUEST FOR SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF, PLEASE.*

I, too, cannot believe it. But that's it. That, they think, is the way to go. No wonder a lot of people say hi to death without realizing their true potential. With food or not, with shelter or not, with clothing or not, you can express your thoughts to society, can you not? Can you not have a conncetion with your God without food, clothing and shelter? Can you not feel enlightenment without food, clothing and shelter? I heard this story about a man [?] who was born with his senses intact and already functioning well. He lived to be only a day old. No. Not even a day old. With a blink of an eye, he was dead. But he died with a smile on his face. He saw the world with his own eyes. And died happily. And was able to connect with his God and attain self-actualisation. He didn't even need to satisfy the first seven levels of Maslow's principles. It's a very beautiful story. I'll look for it and post it here when I do find it. 
 

Ugh. I don't know. I'm confused. I'm not making any sense. Maybe Ms. Chan's right when she told me "You are a very confused child." [ Well, thanks a lot, I really am. ]

 

Any poet could make use of this pristine beauty and because I've always believed in the poet inside you, this one's for you, Roshni. =)

Happy birthday, My cynical touchstone! This shot's from my sunset portfolio taken at Baywalk last December. ALL YOURS. I love ya! =)

Another escapade! [ Too bad Retard wasn’t able to come. She had something to do at home. Boohoo. ]

I, along with another good friend of mine, went to the MyZoo orientation yesterday at the Parks and Wildlife Rescue Center at Quezon Avenue. [ With the use of this entry, I’m helping spread the good news of MyZoo by plugging it! Heehee. ]

What is MyZoo?

“MyZoo is a SEC registered non-profit organization that has been working on the conservation of biodiversity since 2000, primarily throught educating the Filipino people.”

What is MyZoo’s Vision and Mission?

“The MyZoo Volunteer Group Foundation, Inc. is a dedicated group of volunteers working towards the conservation of biodiversity. We aim to transform zoos into effective educational institutions that inspire action towards the conservation of biodiversity; improve the image facilities and programs of different zooz and to strengthen links to communities vital to the preservation of endemic species.”

The orientation included a mini tour of the park plus some brief facts about the animals they have there. They’ve got grass owls, reticulated pythons, changeable hawk eagles, bearded pigs, sharks, rufous hornbills, and a lot more. [ It was the first time I saw racoons and owls! Another first! The feeling's always like having caramel sundae on a rainy day! ] 

I’ve never heard of this park before but, all my thanks to Hands-on-Manila, I am now a MyZoo volunteer. Being a volunteer, you get to:

~ feed the animals at the zoo

~ clean their cages, the boardwalk, and the park as a whole

~ orient people about the animals with a tour

~ have close encounters with the animals

~ be part of the zoo patrol

~ meet new people with the same interest as you

~ experience “a quiet life” for a change

~ try out things you’ve never done before

~ broaden your horizons

~ talk to animals

~ have lots and lots of adventure

Becoming a volunteer is as easy as cooking pancakes. You just go to the Wildlife Rescue Center on a Saturday, attend the orientation, and pay a membership fee of 250 pesos. That easy. It won’t even take you the whole day to become a member.

I took some pictures of the animals, but I ran out of batteries and there were no convenience stores in sight so I only have 9 photos. [ lesson learned: always bring spare batts ] [ These are thumbnails... so just click on a picture to get the larger version. ]

[ I also took pictures of the lagoon at the middle of the park. ]

Have some compassion towards the animals and the environment. The park's really dirty. I can't find the right words to describe how dirty the place is... worse than the Manila Zoo we have today, perhaps. They need money for the total rejuvenation of the park and its facilities.  

 “In the end, we will conserve only what we love. Love only what we understand. And understand only what we are taught.” ~ Baba Dioum, Conservationalist 

It's not where you go; It's what you feel for a moment in your life that lasts forever.

>>> As I write this, beautiful fireworks of different colors are flashing up and making their own stunts in the night sky. We are at the turning point of two years. It’s a time to look back and a time to look forward. But tonight, let’s give emphasis on the highlights of 2004.  

>>> I have finally mustered enough optimism to write a farewell entry to 2004. Here are ten things that made my 2004 extra-extra-extra special:

1. All the music events and gigs I have attended. [ Fete Dela Musique at Libis, Mtv Music Summit at the Fort ( yeah, let's all strive for a world free of violence ) , Studio 23 Barkada Nights at Baywalk ( where i lost my primeval cellphone ) , Pulp Summer Slam at Amoranto Stadium ( total culture shock ), Summer She Bang at Intramuros ( so-so ) , and all the gigs I have attended. ] Thanks to all my gigmates! This year ulit! 
2. The reestablishment of broken relationships. And all the red letters I have given this year. [ I need not expound on this. ]
3.  My brother, Lance Napoleon, who came home for the xmas break! Thanks for making my xmas break extra-extra-extra SPECIAL AND WORTH REMEMBERING. I didn't even need presents from Santa Claus to brighten up my xmas.
4.  Alicia Keys’ concert! [ My first official concert! Wahoo! I also met new friends here, Ren and Liezel, who are really nice and accommodating people. ]]
5. The CREW. And all the people that I have learned to love for what they are. [ I realized that you can have as many friends as you want, but you have to know those who you want to keep for life. ]
6. Who could forget the political instabilities our country experienced this year? I just hope, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed, that “some people” learned a thing or two from these. Yeah, and these upheavals are still blessings.  
7. Lahat ng bagyong nagdaan sa bansa natin. [ Unding, Violeta, Winnie, and Yoyong ]These are the times when religion becomes useful, not only for the masses, but to a whole nation as well. It really broke my heart to see people crying over departed loved ones and livelihoods. They were suffering while we were insensitively trying to log on to the internet and trying to access our friendster accounts. During these incidents when nature seemed unstoppable, we witnessed people dying like flies and also witnessed, at the same time,  the hospitality and generosity people exemplified during these troubled times. Special thanks to Yoyong, who brought the out the good side in a lot of people. [ “Malupit maningil ang kalikasan. Minsan ang pangkabuhayan ang sinisingil at minsan, buhay na.” ]
8. All the things I did for the first time and every escapade I’ve been to helped define who I am today. [ baywalk mems, antel mems, atc mems, fx mems, and lotsa mems! ] Woohoo! More adventures to come this year! [ And more photography too. =) ] Oh, yeah. Check out the sunset pictures I caught at baywalk. Click here.
9. Our cocker spaniel dog, Candy, who made me see the world through the eyes of a dog. WOW. That's REALLY a new perspective. Whew! Click here  for her picture.
10. Every sickening word people told me, every act of dismay people showed me, every shitty thing that deemed painful to me: they made this year worth living... and more exciting. I SWEAR. Thanks to you, I’ve grown to be a lot stronger than I was before.  

>>> Before I bid farewell to 2004, I’d like to say thanks---in the deepest sense of the word. I’ll miss you. And all the people and memories you brought along with you.

2004 IS OVER AND WE HAVE EMERGED AS SURVIVORS!!!

There are four reasons:

*** [ bitter mode right now ] ***

Fourth: The results for the DLSUT will be released.

Third: Classes will resume. I don’t think that needs further explanations.

Second: Going back to SSC means sitting upon your gravestone in the cemetery. [ That’s self-explanatory. ]

First: My brother’s going back to Bacolod. That just killed every spark of happiness inside my being. Every shitty thing I left in 2004, every little thing people did to frustrate me seemed to have flown straight to Neverland and vanished until I had to wake up only to realize that my brother’s going back to the province in no more than five days. WOW. Thanks for the temporary reprieve. It's like giving a 4-year old kid a melting orange popsicle. 

[ That’s five days. And I am in dire need of a good counselor here because nothing I could tell myself would and could help. ]

I was hoping I could welcome the new year with a newer and more positive outlook in life. Maybe I need a crash course in perception management. Life has been a blur for me in 2004. NOTHING seemed to have acted the way I wanted it to. And people---PEOPLE in general---didn’t make me happy this year. This year’s events did not only make me realize a lot of things, it revealed to me truths about certain people, certain establishments, and certain aspects about life that I have always taken for granted.